


Can't Go a Day Without my Computer Boy

by lexiwrites



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Gore, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Horror, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Outlast AU, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Torture, Violence, just some sad shit, lmao gavin being that shit friend that sends the (best) worst memes ever, only self-indulgence here fellas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2020-09-06 03:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20284711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexiwrites/pseuds/lexiwrites
Summary: Just a series of one-shots For our favorite androids.





	1. You Were Born - RK800

**Author's Note:**

> This sounds dumb but I just figured I should put my one-shots in one place instead of posting them separately. Anywho, this is a late birthday fic for our boy Connor, so we only have fluff, bad john mulaney references, Hank being a good dad and cringy dialogue here. Enjoy!

** _Monday, August 15, 2039_ **

The first thing Connor noticed was how abnormal the silence surrounding the Anderson household was. His home wasn’t one known for quietness nor peacefulness, it disconcerted him how he couldn’t even hear Sumo’s familiar barking that he heard every time he came back from work. The lights were out too.

The atmosphere sent him spiraling into the worst possibilities, was everyone attacked? Were you hurt?

The thoughts terrified him, but he moved towards the door nonetheless, he knocked once, twice, thrice. He touched the doorknob and it turned with ease, the door let out long creaks as he tried his best to look in the dark, he, unfortunately, was not equipped with night-vision optical units.

_Something was wrong, something was wrong, something was wrong _ _—_

“Surprise!”

As soon as the word hit him, the lights were on and his eyes immediately adjusted. The inner decor was covered with birthday decorations, a big ‘HAPPY ACTIVATIᵛᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵈᵃʸ’ sign hung between the living room and the kitchen. It was your font; you probably didn’t take the size of the banner into account.

Most of the people he knew were there; Hank, Sumo, Nines, his friends from Jericho, and even Gavin. And you, who was smiling at him with the adorable smile he loved so much.

You closed in on him and pulled him into a tight hug, your lips pecked his cheek and you whispered, “Happy birthday.” Into his ear.

_—_

The party wasn’t over the top, as most of the people here were exhausted from another tiring Monday.

“It was ____’s idea.” Said Hank with some blue whipped cream covering his mustache, “They managed to gather everyone today, took a whole lot of convincing bring that rat-man.” Connor now knew that was Gavin’s nickname.

He appreciated it, you gathered everyone he loved in one room for him on a weekday, nonetheless. You and Hank made him cake shaped like a cartoonish robot with blue frosting, it was a bit messy, but it looked perfect to him. He appreciated the sentiment behind it even though he couldn’t taste it.

_—_

“Then I yelled ‘Fuck da police’” Said a weirdly drunk Gavin, Connor wondered where he got enough booze to become this intoxicated. He locked everything away for Hank’s sake.

“Detective, you work for the police.” Was Nines’ coolly response.

“Yeah… Fuck ‘em.”

“Nice,” You interjected, taking a sip of your drink “So, you’re saying where you were 15 you stole a car, crashed it, stole another car and yelled ‘fuck da police’ in the face of the office that was arresting you?”

“Yeah… it was awesome” He slurred.

“I feel like I should be surprised but I’m not.” You nodded to yourself.

—

“Hey, Markus?” Connor noticed the alcohol in your body slightly increased as you swayed next to him, “Is it true? Is Warren an android?”

Markus blinked at your sudden question; Connor gave him an apologetic smile.

“I can’t confirm nor deny that.” He chuckled.

“That’s a yes, Gavin you own me 20 dollars.” You ran to where the said man was.

—

Everyone had left as it got late, Nines accompanied Gavin to his home, Markus and the rest of Jericho went to the airport to catch their flight and a rather tired Hank retreated to his room.

It was just the two of you now, he did what you advised him to do if you slipped and drank too much. He made you coffee and gave you water, it didn’t take that long for you to begin to sober up.

“I am dating a one-year-old.” You muttered to yourself, sobering you liked questioning your life choices.

“I am technically designed to be in my late twenties or early thirties.” He corrected and you groaned, “Yeah, yeah.”

For the first time in the last hours, it was quiet. But this felt pleasant.

“Do you… wanna open your presents?”

Presents were a common part of birthday parties, given in celebration of the person’s birthday. He did receive gifts and cards from the attendees that he was curious to see.

And so, he did. He and you sat next to each other on the comfy couch and began to open the gifts.

The first one was a physical copy of the book ‘I, Robot’ by Isaac Asimov. He was surprised to see it was from Gavin, of all people. “Aw, he really loves that book,” you said, “Do you think you noticed you reading a lot in the precinct?”

Reading was another hobby he picked up, he enjoyed how relaxing it was.

The second one was from Nines, it was a mug with a Saint Bernard on it, it looked just liked Sumo. He smiled; he was going to use it for his thirium.

You were smiling too, like you felt happy for how loved he felt right now.

The third one was from Markus; it was a portrait of him. His Art always managed to take Connor’s breath away. “Damn, we gotta hang that over the fireplace.”

North gave him a custom-made knife; Josh wrote a birthday card that thanked him for his help with their cause and Simon gifted him a little cactus.

Hank’s gift would’ve knocked the air out of his lungs if he had to breath. Most wouldn’t call it a spectacular gift, but it meant a lot to Connor. It was an antique coin, similar to his dear one he lost a while ago. He flicked it into his other hand, testing the waters as they say. He knew how Hank found his habit irritating and yet he got him a new coin, a beautiful one too.

“Okay, show off. C’mon open mine.” You ushered and he noticed how you started to look anxious, “Are you alright?”

“Yes, of course, just open the thing.” You pushed the wrapped box towards him, and he nodded.

It was a scrapbook, made of polaroid pictures of him and the people around you. The first page was from the first time you met, the Carlos Ortiz crime scene. He remembered how Hank scolded you for _taking a picture of this piece of shit instead of working._ You did not care at all.

** _Friday, November 5, 2038_ **

** _-Welcome to the team, _** **_<strike>Mr</strike>. the android sent by cyberlife _ **

The next page included a picture of him and Hank in the car while you drove to Kamski’s place, he remembered it being rather… dull. You didn’t talk much nor did Hank.

** _Tuesday, November 9, 2038 _ **

** _-Going to visit Mr. I live in the mountains while the whole world burns around me, this should be great. Also, Connor is listening to heavy metal lol_ **

He did mean it when he said he would like to listen to music, heavy metal has been one of his favorite genres ever since. His grin only grew wider when he saw the next picture. It was taken in Hank’s house, a shot of the TV displayed him standing behind Markus and the thousands of androids in front of them.

** _Friday, November 12, 2038_ **

** _-This dork literally joined a revolution and won… what a power move _ **

** _also hank is tearing up but he threatened to break my camera if I took a photo ): _ **

“Hank cried?” He asked and you immediately nodded, “I told you he’s a softie… he was happy you were alright.” Right, he was almost killed beforehand by his ‘evil twin’ as you said, it made sense for him to worry.

He flipped the page and a wave of happier memories hit him. Things were still hectic since the revolution ‘ended’. Many evacuated the city despite the peaceful approach that Markus took, their fear was irrational yet understandable. This meant most of the resident of Detroit were androids.

It wasn’t bad but the evacuation only meant many humans still refused to acknowledge the fact that androids were alive and in time would be their equals in the eyes of law. It lowered his spirit a bit.

Hank wasn’t having it, at all. He decided to take out the old Christmas decorations he had and invited you over to help decorate the house. It wasn’t even December, yet you rushed here.

This one was of Hank scolding him and his counterpart while they tried to put the star on the tree.

** _Monday, November 29, 2038_ **

** _-Life is great, Connor and Nines just tried to put Sumo on the amazing (decorated by me) Christmas tree_ **

** _Androids really are superior to us_ **

He chuckled at your comment and continued. The photo was of him in a ‘casual’ suit that hank gave him. It was your first date since you asked him out. You were going to watch movies at your place.

** _Tuesday, February 14, 2039_ **

** _-Taking this one because Connor looks nervous… and cute._ **

You snickered, “Do you remember how nervous you were? It was so adorable.” He shook his head, “Yes, my stress level was a bit high. You failed to mention the date would be in your apartment and not out before I borrowed this from Hank. I didn’t want him to feel bad about it and I ended up looking overdressed.”

You chuckled, again. “Well, you still looked perfect.” Your loved complimenting him and it always made his face heat up, he bit his lip and proceeded.

The next one was of him standing in Hank’s bathroom with his LED gone for the first time since his activation, it took a lot of courage to be able to let go of what he was made for, be it that little spinning device. You and Hank were with him every step of the way.

** _Sunday, April 3, 2039_ **

** _-My boy is accepting himself <3_ **

He teared up a bit, the support he got from you and the others was heart-warming, to say the least. He held your hand and gave it a quick peck.

The following one featured a hug between him and Hank. He had received gifts from both Connor and Nines, the former gave him a card with a heartfelt message while the latter gave him one that simply said, ‘You are an efficient parental figure.’ It was impressive since it came from Nines, who still struggled with his lack of a social program.

** _Saturday, June 19, 2039_ **

** _-Father’s Day with our fav grumpy old man._ **

After that was him in shorts and a tank top from last month. He stood next to Sumo with a box of fireworks in his hands. He didn’t participate with the celebration since he wanted to make sure Sumo would be okay, you stayed with him.

** _Monday, July 4, 2039_ **

**_-Happy 4th of July! Connor, your legs were made for these shorts- god bless Cyberlife. _ **

That night did end up… being interesting because of his choice of clothing. He did end up wearing them a bit more since then.

He flipped the page and realized the rest of them were empty. “I didn’t realize this was why you insisted on taking pictures of me with your polaroid camera.” You shrugged.

“It wasn’t in the beginning but… I wanted to capture those moments you know? Keep them with us forever.” You moved closer and snuggled with him, “You can fill it up if you want. I know you can see any memory you want anytime but… I guess this is just a sappy way of doing it.”

“No,” he interjected, “I appreciate your gift and the meaning behind it. I also wish to have many more pleasant memories with you and those around us.” You hummed with a smile then yawned. You put your head against his shoulder and soon drifted off.

He noticed your Camera on the table next to him… how convenient. He slowly reached for it and used it to take a picture of the two of you. You looked breath-taking to him, with your peaceful face and soft snoring.

Something about this felt… right. He felt like he finally belonged. Like he found his place, his family, his love. This was ‘it’ as some would say.

** _Monday, August 15, 2039_ **

** _-I am happy._ **


	2. House of Horrors - RK900

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are stuck in a CyberLife center with an obsessive machine. RK900 wants you and won't stop until you're his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This was heavily inspired by Outlast: whistleblower (it's my first AU), so and I think it has a similar atmosphere to it. Please don't read if you're upset by gore, violence, physical/ emotional hurt, yandere characteristics etc. Enjoy!

Fear used to be something you felt when you saw a small spider crawling in your room. Panic was just that awful sensation that you would feel when you met someone new. Dread was the feeling that consumed you before any meetings you had with your superiors.

Oh, how you wished those simpler things were what caused your heart to pound in your ears. No, things just _had_ to turn so sinister. You were an employee, you hardly felt like you were of any worth in the massive corporation that was CyberLife, but hey, it paid the bills.

You wanted to smack your past self for being so naïve, for not seeing what was right in front of her. A megacorporation that created androids needed technicians for a secluded project, how did you not think it was shady?

It didn’t matter. You were stuck here with countless CyberLife employees’ bodies, many torn apart and twisted in the most gut-churning way. You were alone here with no possible way to protect yourself from them.

Them. The defective androids. This center was made as a ‘replacement’ for the android dumpsters in Detroit as an effort to gain the world’s trust back after the failed revolution led by the RK200 model. It was only the pretty front they put up for the world, androids that came here were ‘fixed’.

They would take the deviants and perform those weird experiments on them ranging from playing with their memories to messing up their entire head and making it into something much more horrifying. You shouldn’t have cared, everyone said those were just machines that didn’t feel pain or anything from the crude treatment.

Then why did they scream? Why did they beg? Why did they break?

Why did CyberLife even fund something like this? Was your race truly so horrible? Inflicting horrors upon horrors on beings that seemed to feel just for the sake of it like they were sadistic hunters.

The androids somehow got out and many did not show mercy to their torturers, killing them and ripping them apart like they were nothing. A part of you did not feel pity for them, they too were monsters.

You only started working here two weeks ago and you never stood for the things they did. But you were a nobody, a nobody who probably wouldn’t find another job in this economy.

And that’s how you ended up here, breaths ragged and heart-pounding as you frantically tried to quiet yourself. You slowly took out your camera and turned it to night vision. It was an older model from the 10s that you found in your coworker’s desk, you silently thanked Maria and hoped she was okay. No one was here, you let out a sigh.

_“You let me violate you.”_

You almost shrieked, fuck, fuck. He was here and he was close. His sickening yet beautiful voice would sing that song as he walked around, searching for a lover. Searching for you.

_“You let me desecrate you.”_

You lower your camera as you peek through the slots of the tight locker, you could see his red LED flashing in the dark. You held your breath again when stood right in front of you and thanks to the light coming from his temple you could see him baring his teeth at you, like a rabid animal.

“Found you, pet.” With that, the locker was flicked open and you inventorially screamed, trying your hardest to push him away but all that got you was a rough shove towards the floor.

“Now, now,” You picked yourself up and tried to back off, but you felt something hit your head and the world around somehow became darker and thus you drifted away.

“I have so much to show you, my little rabbit.” Was the last thing you heard before completely blacking out.

You awoke in a chair, tied and bound in what looked like a hunter’s chamber, your camera was nowhere to be found. Some bodies were lying around, mutilated beyond recognition. It looked like it was the RK900’s work.

You knew of his model, a model designed to kill and hunt, a model created for destruction. You saw him being brought here when you first arrived, chained like he would lash out the moment he was set free. His blue eyes were breath-taking, and you wondered why CyberLife designed someone so visually pleasing for such purposes.

You looked at his file, model [RK900](https://detroit-become-human.fandom.com/wiki/RK900), serial #313 248 317 – 87. Previously used in the D.P.D, the reason for the deviation was unknown. You passed by his cell once, out of sheer curiosity, the RK900 model wasn’t available everywhere and he was the first one to be brought here.

He was quiet, very quiet. He just sat on the white chair and stared down. You didn’t try to talk, you just observed. A state-of-the-art model reduced to nothing but a prisoner. “RK900?” You called; this would probably get you in trouble, but you just had to satisfy your curiosity.

“Are you alright?” You asked, hoping for an answer yet doubting the possibility of getting one. And you didn’t, you had sighed and simply left. That was your only interaction with him before the shit hit the fan, it didn’t explain why he locked you up and then chased you all over the place for the past hours when you managed to escape.

“My little rabbit.” God, you hated that voice. You glared at him as he approached you with a soft smile, it threw you off. “I am glad our little game of hide and seek is over,” he got closer and reached out for your face, “You are finally here, right where I want you.”

This was the first time you got to see properly him since the outbreak and he looked terrifying, to say the least. The right side of his face was stuck in different patches of white, his right eye looked damaged as his sclera was dark, almost black. His white shirt and pants were stained with blood, some of it looked fresher than the other.

“And that is?” you spat.

He laughed for the first time. “Oh, you sweet little thing.” His hand tugged your hair behind your ear and the contact alone sent shivers down your spine. You were afraid of being broken like the others; he was a combat android fully capable of twisting you in any way he pleased.

“You are yet to be perfect.” His words were cold. He retreated, going to a small table at the back of the room.

“Are you going to kill me?”

“Don’t be afraid, I’d never do something that terrible to you_._” Something was menacing about what he said, probably the fact that he held a combat knife. Panic filled you now, and you desperately tried to break free, it proved to be useless.

“No, please. You don’t have to do this.” You whimpered but he approached you regardless, holding that thing in his hands like it was his little toy. “I do. You see, humans always have this fire in them,”

The knife neared your face and you shut your eyes tight, awaiting the worst. You screamed when it tore your skin, it wasn’t very deep or wide, but it still hurt like a bitch. “And the only way to extinguish that pathetic spark is to _break_ them.”

The knife moved downward and dug deeper into your cheek. You tried to hold back, to not give this piece of shit the satisfaction of seeing his work’s effect on you. But you couldn’t, it hurt, it hurt so much. You wailed and clenched your hands into a tight fist, your eyes flowed with tears and you looked at him.

He didn’t even have that smug expression anymore, there was only emptiness. Unsettling, creepy emptiness. “Please, please, stop!”

He chuckled; a dark awful laugh barely hearable compared to your screams of pain. “I am afraid I can’t do that. This is your punishment for trying to leave me, you have to be a good girl and accept it.”

Your throat was sore and dry by the time he was done marking you. You didn’t cry anymore, only shook with small sobs as he stared at you. This was it; this was the end of you. You were going to die in this mess by the hands of some deranged lunatic. No, no. You were a fighter and this fucker won’t break this easily.

“Why me?” You wanted to lure him in, to make him believe you cared about him.

You saw him hesitate to answer, he was probably scanning you. He stepped back and went back to his table. “You are special.”

“How so, sir?” it was hard, trying to act like an innocent toy but you kept the act up for your sake. “Not many humans care about damaged merchandises.” He said as he wiped his bloody knife.

“You approached me when nobody else did, I wanted to make you mine ever since I saw you walk away.” Right. “Why are you even here?”

He stopped and you gulped, shit. “You weren’t as quiet as I would’ve liked you to be while taking your punishment, pet. You don’t get to ask any more questions.”

He came back to you and his hand brushed against your wound, causing you to flinch. “I didn’t want to do it, my love, but you left me no choice. Now, how about we start making you a beautiful dress?”

You knew it wasn’t a question, you were his toy for now and he will make you do whatever he pleased for. You nodded and he unrestrained you, you tried to get up, but you didn’t have any power left in you after hours of running and getting cut like a fucking piece of meat.

“You must be tired. Let me carry you.” He said and carried you like you were his bride, it made you feel somehow sicker. The light-headedness you experienced only got worse with every step he took, and you felt darkness consume you again.

_“You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you”_

You groan when you hear him sing again, you didn’t want to hear his vile voice. “Ah, you are awake.”

You slowly opened your eyes and saw yourself in a mirror, he stood behind you with a menacing smile. You looked different, the wounded side of you face was stitched up with dried blood surrounding it, that did not look good. But most importantly, you wore a dress, a pretty dotted dress.

“di… did you change my clothes?” You whispered, he put his hand on your shoulder and pressed his lips to the top of your head, you almost gagged. “Of course, I made this for my beautiful wife.” His smile grew wider.

His wife?

“Do you like it, my love?” There was this dangerous edge to his voice, you knew what he wanted you to say. “Yes, sir.” He hummed and nudged you to get up. You did ever so slowly, having to rely on him to push yourself up.

Fuck, your plan to manipulate seemed to be a certain suicide, either that or it was going well. “Where are we going?” You asked sweetly, batting your eyes at him. “It’s a surprise.”

You follow him for five minutes between the rooms and halls of the center, there were so many bodies twisted in the most unimaginable ways, some had necks that were turned a 180**°, **some we decapitated, some were mutilated beyond recognition. You wanted to throw up.

“We are here.” The awful stench of the rest of the building disappeared when you entered the clear, bright room. It was weirdly… calming.

“This will be our home from now own. We will be together forever, you won’t be ungrateful like that bratty detective, right?”

Your heart quickened for the millionth time tonight, what was he even talking about? It didn’t matter. You knew that leaving this room will be impossible the moment that door is locked, you had to make your move, now.

“Thank you.” He looked relieved and relaxed; his eyes still held the same insanity to them. “I knew you would appreciate my love for you.”

He passed you and went on to tidy the bed, you looked around for anything you could use against and then you noticed it, a knife the door. Bingo. You slowly moved back and leaned down, taking the sharp weapon with ease as the android rambled.

“Other people never appreciated my gestures, he never liked how I protected him from this awful world. He just had to lash out, to try to abandon me for someone else. We could’ve been beautiful, but he practically wanted me to snap his pretty neck.”

You approached as your heart kept pounding and your mouth went dry. Was that why he was here? Did he murder his previous lover? You shook those thoughts off and tapped his shoulder. He paused and looked at you in question, you wrapped your arms around him.

“He sounds like an awful man.” You muttered and he returned your hug. “I knew you would understand me, my love.”

That was your moment to strike, you pulled the knife holding hand and struck it into his thiruim pump without giving him a chance to fight back. The knife easily damaged the thing and you heard RK900 curse before shoving you behind.

You fell and you saw him slowly descend to the ground. “You whore, you ungrateful bitch!” He shouted. You watch him for a moment before you realize this is your chance to bail, so you do. You got up quickly and took the knife with you and put it in your pocket. You panted as you ran towards the exit, you were so close, so close to freedom.

“Come back here!” You didn’t stop but did turn around a bit to see him struggling to follow you but being closer than what you thought, shit. You noticed one of the guard’s body and a gun beside it, you reached for it but were pulled back by a strong chokehold.

“Why did you turn out like him? Didn’t you love me?” You choke and gasp for air as his grip tightened, “I would’ve loved for all of eternity, you whore!” You try to push him as your vision darkened, your feet kicked in every direction in panic but then you remembered.

You took out the knife and you plunged it into his left eye, he stumbled back, and you rushed to the gun. You took hold of it and backed towards the wall. He took the knife out and looked at you, “I’m going to-“

You didn’t let him continue as you shot him between his eyes, another near his thiruim pump, and another and another. You stopped when you were sure he shut down and your heaving breathing finally calmed down. The fucker was dead.

“Hands in the air!”

You flinched as you did exactly what the voice said. You turned and saw SWAT members finally enter the building, “I am human.” You said and one of them scanned you, “Did you see anyone alive?” a bigger man asked you, you shook your head.

You assumed he was the leader, “Get her out of here and search the building. Terminate every android on site.” You were still on the ground when he helped you up and another took you out of there.

When you reached the exit, you noticed your camera laying on the ground, you pushed the man away and reached for it. It still worked and it had everything on it, all the pain and misery you went through for this shitty company and all the horrors it created.

They will pay, and you will make sure the world saw what they were.


	3. The One Where you Confess - RK800 & Gavin Reed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> request: Howdy! Can I have an imagine for Connor and a gender-neutral reader where the reader is best friends with Gavin but has a crush on Connor [RK800]? Could you put a bit of fluff in too? You can change it up if you want, that's cool. Thank you for considering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the badly written fluff.

“Gavin, if I hear anything else about Shrek in the next five minutes, I swear to god I will throw you into the trash then sit you on fire myself.” You said, holding your index up in the man’s face.

“Alright.” Your brows furrowed at how easily the detective was convinced, especially after hearing him quote Shrek for hours and hours since your marathon last night. You watched him as he went back to his desk and got out his phone. You supposed you could finally do some actual work, but your phone binged just as you reached for your terminal.

_Hey watch this _ [ _https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUR7h4WunY_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUR7h4WunY)

You looked back to Gavin, what could he have possibly sent you now? he didn’t look your way and just stared into his computer. Your thumb hovered over the link before finally clicking it.

You knew what this thing was. This awful, terrible, shitty video from 2014 that still haunted you was enough to fuel your nightmares again just by hearing the narrator’s voice. You don’t bother finishing it, the flashbacks were enough.

You slammed your hands on the table and got up. Gavin was laughing now, like the complete idiot that he was. “Gavin, you stupid fucking- “

You were ready to throw hands when you heard him, the man with the beautiful yet goofy voice that you liked so much. “Are you alright, detective?” You turned and saw him standing behind you with two cups of coffee. He wore a casual jacket now and a pair of jeans and you swore that he still looked like a supermodel.

“Hey Connor, I’m good.” You said and side-eyed the Gavin, you would deal with him later. When you looked back Connor had walked towards you with a cup handed out. You stared at it for a second then looked up at the android.

“I brought you a cup of your preferred coffee. You seem to function better with it.”

Gavin laughed and you felt your cheeks heating up. What was that supposed to mean?

“Thanks…?” You reached for the cup and took it slowly, Connor’s LED turned yellow. “What’s on your mind?” the question was said as you walked back to your desk, you sat down and opened the lid covering the cup and took a sip; it was warm and tasted just the way you liked. You didn’t remember telling Connor how you liked your coffee.

You knew of the android’s cute habit. He still followed others around like an adorable puppy. He stood next to your desk and said, “You seemed hesitant to accept my token of appreciation.” It seemed like an interestingly worded question.

“Oh. No, no. I appreciate it! I just- “ just as you were going to make up an excuse for yourself, Fowler shouted your name from his office. You gave the man an apologetic look and went to see what your boss wanted from you.

“that tincan, really?”

You knew telling Gavin about your crush wouldn’t garner you the best reaction. The man, despite being a good friend, was a walking and breathing fiery mess. He disliked androids and didn’t even start tolerating them until he got his own android partner, an RK900. He still hated Connor though.

“Look, I don’t want to hear you bitchin’, okay? I just need your help here, not your hot take on androids, especially him.” He raised his hands in defense.

“Woah, Woah, chill.” You sighed, “I won’t talk shit about your little crush, but,” You held your finger up in his face, “No buts. I’m awkward _and_ desperately in love. Just… help.”

Gavin looked at you for a bit, you put on your best puppy eyes for him. It wasn’t like Gavin had a never-ending string of lovers, nope, not the case at all. You couldn’t talk about this to Hank, he was a friend of yours, but this would make things awkward between you, probably. Tina was still recovering in the hospital after her injury. Talking to RK900 ,also known as Nines, would be useless since the poor guy’s social skills were worse than yours.

“Ugh, fine. Let’s go get lunch and I’ll tell you what ya gotta do.”

“Ok… so you’re telling me to pretend to be some bimbo?”

“Nah, I was just messing with ya.” He said, stuffing his mouth with another dozen fries, “You shuff’ juff be yourselph- ” Your face twisted in disgust and you smacked his arm lightly, “finish eating first you despicable egg.” He shut his mouth.

“As I was saying, you gotta be yourself.” You rolled your eyes, “Ugh, please. Nobody likes that.” Gavin shook his head. “The hell are you talking about? You’re great, and if that plastic prick can’t see it then-“

“Gav, please. You’ve been there every time I got dumped… it’s always been my fault.” You looked down at your plate.

“Hey, both of us know that ain’t the truth. Your dump exes just wanted to blame you for how things ended because that shit’s easier. Remember Meg? That chick was a control freak and didn’t like it when you didn’t want any of her bullshit.” Megan. You remembered the last day you saw her, how she screamed and screamed at you for being ‘an ungrateful cruel person’. Yikes.

“Look, you are an odd goofball.” “gee- thanks,” “But you are a good goofball, the kind you wanna keep around forever. So, if you wanna get that prick then go for it, ask him out. If he’s not into you then you’ll be saving your time. And if things go really south…” the previous words warmed your heart.

“What?” you ask, curious. “Remember how we used to go to Disneyland every year since the academy?” you nodded; those trips were some of the memories that you still cherished. You two couldn’t go in the last year because your bank accounts weren’t looking great.

“Well I’ve saved some money, so I’ma take you there. How does that sound?”

You squealed, “Are you the real Gavin Reed? What did ya do with him?” you asked playfully, “Hey! I’m always nice.” “Right.”

You looked at your watch and got up, “C’mon, we gotta go.” You waited for him to walk past you and you smacked his head, it was more of a rough tap really. He winced, punching your arm.

“What was that for?!”

“Never send me Shrek memes. Ever.”

Tonight was supposed to be _the_ night. You were going to ask the cute, adorable, handsome android out. Everyone went to the bar after work, wanting to celebrate closing an important red ice case, it would’ve been the perfect opportunity for you to ‘declare your love’, hell, you practiced your speech. It was supposed to be perfect.

Instead, here you were, stuck in a nearly empty office when everyone was out having fun. You just had to procrastinate some of your reports, didn’t you?

You sighed, whatever. This might be the universe’s way of telling you to abort your mission, to not ruin your precious friendship with Connor. You wanted to believe that, but god, you loved him.

You loved every part of him; his adorably weird social antics, his gorgeous smile whenever he would see you, his kind personality, the tiny freckles adorning his soft face, just, _him_.

“Detective.”

You yelped when you finally snapped out of your little bubble only to see the man of your dreams Infront of you. Was it whatever it was that rested in the skies up above that wanted you to constantly wish to have the ground beneath you split open and swallow you whole? Probably.

“C-Connor, hey.”

“I apologize for frightening you.” You waved your hand, “No, it’s fine really.” You let out that awkward laugh that you hated so much. Connor’s LED turned yellow, shit, did he notice you being weird?

“Um, I thought you went with Hank?”

“I came back. I would like to assist you if that’s okay.” You blinked, “You don’t have to do-“

“I want to. I don’t like seeing you stressed.” Your heart skipped a beat, something about the way he said it made you feel like a teenager who just discovered what love is. “Alright, be my guest.”

Damn, you forgot how good androids were at basically everything. Connor took half of the workload despite your protests. You were still halfway through your share when he finished his. You spent the rest of the time talking about whatever came to mind, turning the atmosphere of the room into a comfortable one.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Does my presence bother you?”

The comfort you felt was immediately thrown out of the window. You stopped typing and looked at the desk across you, where he sat. You saw something new, an expression that Connor usually didn’t show, hurt. His eyebrows were brought together, his lips pursed, and his eyes got a bit intense. Too intense.

You scratched your neck and looked back at your terminal. “What would give you that idea?”

You could see him tilt his head from the corner of your vision. “Well, you seem to fidget and become increasingly anxious whenever I come near you,”

“You also seem far more comfortable with Detective Reed, Nines and Hank. I am sorry if did something wrong, but I would appreciate it if you told me what it was.”

“Connor-” You stopped yourself, what were you supposed to say? Sorry, I just really like you and I don’t know how to deal with it? I’m scared I will mess everything up?

He stared at you and you looked anywhere but at him. Ugh, fuck it, you were gonna wing it, by being yourself. All the preparation you did had gone down the gutter.

“I, uh, the reason I get nervous around you is that, well- I like your face, no wait not just that I’m not that superficial. Not that it isn’t great, your face is gorgeous. Ah shit. I- Ireallylikeallofyou.”

Connor blinked, the ring on his temple turned yellow, again. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The following silence was too much, you’d rather be watching weird Shrek parodies. You stared at Connor, waiting for an answer, for anything really. He didn’t say a word. Time to back up.

“Okay, sorry, shit, you can forget I said anything- “

“No, ____.” You paused; you weren’t used to him calling you by your first name. “I also, uh- “

You didn’t think melting was something your body was capable of, but that was how you felt. This cool, calculated android just stuttered. You almost giggled, but luckily held back.

“I also like you. I was trying to bond with you as several sites suggested, but it seemed to backfire.” You chuckled. “No, I am sorry I acted like a high schooler,”

“Your nervousness was justified. Please don’t be hard on yourself.”

You smiled; it was a rather bittersweet one. His hand was on the desk, you moved yours and put it on his slowly. Connor froze for a moment but regained his composure after, he gently massaged your hand with his thumb. It wasn’t your first time touching an android but the artificial skin still had that unique feeling to it.

“So, do you want to go out next Thursday?”

“Yes, that would be preferable.”

It felt like a dream, the man you liked felt the same. You were so ready for rejection that you didn’t know what to do now. A yawn escaped you, it had gotten pretty late. You finished the last of your work and shut off the computer. An idea came to your mind.

“There is this sweet spot around the block, do you want me to show it to you?”

Connor immediately nodded, “Alright, wait I gotta send something.”

_I DID IT MY DUDE_


	4. Shades of Cool - RK900/Richard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. It's been a while haha  
Anyway here is some saucy bad angst featuring the one and only RK900  
I'm not sure about his characterization here tbh, this was heavily inspired by lana del rey's "shades of cool" music video... so yeah i guess listen to that  
Enjoy!  
Warning: grief,character death, implied suicide?

_2 0 4 8_

Richard closed his eyes and leaned against his chair. He tried to tune you out, to forget how sweet your voice sounded when you let out a laugh, to ignore how beautiful you looked as you swayed from side to side, he tried to push you out his mind. The logical part of him wanted you out while his consciousness wanted you to preserve you, or rather what’s left of you.

It was pathetic, he knew it. He knew you and he were not the same, that his thirium pump was not the same as your beating heart. He still loved you as his one and only, he had found what humans usually searched for years and years in a matter of a few months into his own life.

To him, you were perfect.

_Can you promise me something, Richie?_

_Anything, my love._

He found you and you found him in the midst of the chaos of your daily lives. It wasn’t easy for him to understand his attachment to you first. But he grew to love it, to love _you_. Letting down the walls that were designed for him was a difficult task, but he broke through them one by one, only for you.

Life was not fair, not to him anyway. You were human while he was an android and both you knew what that would mean. He would outlive you at some point, he would continue to live while you wouldn’t.

_Promise me that you will move on. That you will be happy without me, please._

He couldn’t. Not with the way the universe took you from him so soon. He tried; he truly did try to find happiness again because he promised he would. No lover could make him as happy as you did, they couldn’t make him smile just at the thought of them. Richard’s friends, family, and even colleagues all tried to help him move on and let go of you.

And he did, for a while. It hurt to live without the one person he wanted to share his days with, but he did, nonetheless. The world wasn’t done toying with him though.

He didn’t know what happened exactly. It must have been a malfunction in his memory, optical units, and audio processors. He started seeing you everywhere despite not accessing his memory. His memories of you started blending into his reality. You were dancing in your living room again, you were working next to his desk, you were reading quietly in the park, you were everywhere he went.

He remembered how he felt the first time it happened. He had headed home after a long night, mentally exhausted and ready to go into standby mode. He opened the door to yo- _his_ apartment and he swore his thirium pump stopped when he noticed a shadowy figure on his sofa. Its silhouette was awfully similar to yours as the person continued to watch tv – which was turned off.

He called your name in a breathy whisper, but you didn’t respond at all. His legs rushed to you, could it be you? Were you somehow brought back? No. It wasn’t possible.

His logical thinking was right, it was the fragment of you. He discovered that when his hand passed right through your figure. His mind projecting you onto his life was the last thing he needed, or so he thought.

He could’ve had the issue fixed if he wanted to; he almost did.

In a sense, he had you in his life again. Sometimes you’d say the sweetest things to him, you’d let out that adorable laugh and he was hearing your voice again. He missed it, looking at you through his memories wasn’t enough before and now you were here, with _him_. He couldn’t hold you and truly talk to you, but the way memories of you came to life and haunted him in the best way possible was enough.

Others started to notice his increasingly strange behavior. He was brightening up of course, but he had distanced himself from others at the same time, only relishing in you.

+

“Richard, is it alright if I talked to you about something in private?” Connor had asked him on a quiet Monday. Richard looked up from his terminal for a second and noticed the concerned look on his counterpart’s face. He looked backed down and continued his work “I’d rather not.”

“Richard.” Came Connor’s stern voice, “Some of your biocomponents are malfunctioning. They have been that way for a while –”

Richard cut him off by slamming his hands against the table, “I said I don’t wish to talk. Leave me be, Connor.” Connor looked at him for a second, everyone was staring too as the loud sound had gotten their attention.

“Richard…” the man sighed. “Just leave me be. Please.”

+

_Nines, are you sure you want to do this?_

Yes. He was sure, he was so sure of his own calculations and abilities that he failed to consider any unpredictable variables. The criminal that shot you down from afar, how long the ambulance took to get to you and how he couldn’t stop you from bleeding out were all things that should not have happened. You weren’t supposed to take that bullet, he was.

He didn’t know why he even stood where you and he once were. This wasn’t a memory he was fond of and yet he came to this dark corner behind the building where your last bust occurred. He craved reliving as many memories of yours as he could.

+

You emerged once again as soon as his eyes fluttered shut. this time you laid next to him, your hands running through his hair or rather disappearing when you try to get in contact with him.

_I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I was so scared._

Oh. It was a distinct memory that he had buried in the furthest parts of his head. You two had laid next to each other after a practically rough night where a suspect almost killed him. He would have, had not been for you. Both of you just laid next to each other. He remembered feeling numb while you trembled and quivered against him. It was part of your jobs and yet there you were, almost crying because you thought you had lost him.

You were just his partner; you shouldn’t have been so concerned about the well-being of an android. Or so he thought back then. Your relationship only progressed after that.

He missed you.

+

_Why did you let me die, Richie?_

Richard’s eyes snapped open. Your sweet voice was no longer that, instead it held a tone of animosity to it. You were angry. The trembling figure stood in front of him with their lips tight and expression sour. It was a look you had never given him before. How were you saying things you’d never said before?

_I didn’t want to die. I was so scared. I just wanted to go home._

“I… I didn’t want you to die –” he began, wondering if this was what hell felt like.

_You did. You took everything from. You killed me. You were supposed to be the perfect machine, but you couldn’t even save me._

The android stood still. You were right, this was his fault. It was because he was not efficient enough, it was because he made the wrong predictions, it was because he…

He was worthless.

_Richie. Let’s go home._

He didn’t notice you wrapping yourself around him. He didn’t notice you backing off and giving him something – a gun. _Come to me, baby. _To you. He would go back to you. That is exactly what he wanted. To go where you were. He stared at the gun.

He would always go back to you.


	5. If Only, If Only You Were Mine - Markus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Hey, I was wondering, if you are not too busy, and if you feel like to do it... can I request a Markus x Tsundere!Reader fanfic? I can pay you in draws if you are up to! Have a nice day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone!  
Here is a cheesy fic with our boy Markus... no, really it's so fucking cheesy kslkdlsdkld  
Warnings: Nothing much, the reader is drunk and there is some mutual pining... also not sure about Markus's personality fuck me

“You look upset.”

Simon’s statement pulled you out of your little world. You looked up from the glass to him and forced yourself to give him a small smile, “I’m not upset.”

“Yes, you are. Now, what is it?”

God, you didn’t want to say anything to ruin the night. Everyone looked like they were having fun at this party… you weren’t. “I’m fine, Simon,” you took a sip of your drink, “Don’t worry about it.”

Simon rolled his eyes, “Right. That’s why you look like a kicked puppy.” He paused for a second and looked over his shoulder. “Is it because of Markus?”

Your eyes avoided his gaze as you gulped down a bit more liquor, you probably needed it to survive this night. “Why would it be about Markus…” God, why did you even take this drink? It tasted like shit.

“Because you like him.” You choked. After a minute of you coughing as your life depended on it and Simon patting you back gently, you finally calmed down. “Haha… nice one. I don’t like him.” You said, with a terribly croaked voice that made you sound absolutely ridiculous.

Simon gave you a look that said ‘seriously?’ and you avoided looking at him once more.

“Are you guys alright?” You jumped slightly when you heard his voice. You didn’t know if it was because of what you just drank but… his smooth, soft voice made you melt a bit.

“Yeah. They just kinda choked.”

Markus looked at you, slightly worried. You just gave him the thumbs up and you did your best to look ‘normal’. “Okay… aren’t guys going to join us?”

You didn’t want to. You were acting like a child and you knew it but for fuck’s sake, you could feel your heart shatter when you saw him laugh and have fun with North. They never really made it publicly official but the way they acted around each other just made you wish it was you instead. No… no. You didn’t want it; you didn’t want him to be yours. At all.

“We will,” he looked at you and probably saw your distant expression, “later.”

Markus nodded hesitantly and left. You finally felt like you could breathe. “Wow. You totally like him.” “I don’t!”

“Then why did you leave the group when he and North started getting ‘friendly’?”

“Because. I just wanted to drink a bit, okay? I’m too sober for this shit.” You asked the bartender for another drink and you felt another exhausted breath leave your body. Simon said nothing for a while. You wondered why he still stayed there while you drank your sorrows away.

+

“They seemed upset. I didn’t ask why though; it already seems like they hate me.” North scoffed, “No they don’t.”

“Well… they avoid talking to me all the time now. I don’t understand why…”

It was true. You and Markus were close before. You were one of the first humans who were kind to him and throughout your relationship he might have started feeling like he _wanted _you. You understood him back when he was just Carl’s android, you treated him as an equal and even helped him during the revolution.

He admired you. He liked you more than he’d like to admit.

That’s why your sudden reservation confused him. You’d flee any room as soon as he’d enter, you’d give him casual answers for whatever he’d talk to you about and you were just so distant now.

“You know that the reason we are good friends is that we never discuss our love lives, right?”

“I know.”

North stayed silent for a moment before rolling her eyes, “Ugh, why do you have to look like a kicked puppy sulking? Just go ask them what’s wrong if you’re that worried.”

North pushed him in your direction, and he stumbled a bit, well. She was right. This might not be the perfect place for it but if he could just pull you aside for a moment then he’d-

“Hey- hey- hey Josh, Josh, listen.”

Markus noticed your flailing figure next to Josh, who just looked confused and amused at the same time. “Do ya think flowers exist at night? I don’t think they do; they probably hide under the ground… hey, do ya think flowers exist at night?”

“You just asked me that.”

“Oh… asked you what? Well anyway,” Markus made his way towards you too, Josh gave him an apologetic look as you mumbled something under your breath. “They’re drunk.”

“Imm not drunk.” You said and leaned into Markus, a bit too closely. “Markus, heeyyy, I missed you.”

“Simon left them with me, but I need to go talk to some of my university's students. Can you watch over them, Markus?”

The man nodded and in an instant, Josh was gone. It was just you and him now. He never really saw you this drunk before and yet he figured that he should take you away from the crowd before you’d do something you’d regret.

“Whe- where are we going, Markus?”

“I’m getting you some water, so you don’t wake up feeling terrible tomorrow.”

“Hmm. You always take care of me…” You sniffled. Markus stopped, were you crying? “I’m sorry,” you said and rubbed your eyes, “It’s okay, do you want to go home?” You nodded and he pulled you along.

It was quiet outside, surprisingly. The noises from the crowded party were getting distant and all he could hear now was your soft breathing and crickets. He ordered a taxi and waited for a few minutes.

The car ride was mostly quiet. You looked as if you were zoning out the whole time. When you did finally reach your house, Markus got out of the car and helped you out. You stumbled around, giggling each time you’d almost fall.

When he did get inside your house, you seemed to be sadder than before.

“I’m sorry for ruining your night.” You said and slumped onto the couch.

He looked at you and saw that your eyes were glistening. “You didn’t.”

“Really?” he nodded. “C’mon, you’ll wake up with back pains if you sleep on the couch. Let’s get you to bed.” You hummed as he helped you up. You entered the room and he helped you to bed.

“Okay… issa good. I thought…” Markus waited for you to continue as he fetched a glass of water from the nightstand, but you stayed quiet. “You thought?” He gave you the glass and you drank half of it before saying, “Oh. I ugh, I thought you wanted to be with North…”

Markus raised his brows in confusion, “Why would I want to spend time with North?”

You let out a small giggle and fell back with a small thud. You whispered, “Because you guys are together.”

“North is my friend. That’s all. We aren’t dating.” Markus thought to when you first started withdrawing from him. It began around the time his and North’s friendship strengthened after she shared her past with him. Wait…

“Is that why you avoided me?”

“What. Pffft... no… I didn’t avoid you.”

Drunk you was an even worse liar. He could see right through you as you looked at the ceiling, “Yes you did. I thought you hated me.”

He probably shouldn’t be discussing this with you in this state, but it seemed like you were more honest like this. “What? Noooo.” You whined. He stared at you a bit, his eye fluttering as you looked away, “Why do you have to look at me like that? It’s making me weak. Stop.”

Markus was getting more confused with each passing second. Could it be that you felt the same way he felt? “What do you mean?”

“I…”

“it’s a secret. You see… I can’t let you know. Because then you will hate me.” it sounded like you were rambling to yourself. “If I tell you, will you keep it a secret?” he nodded.

“Okay… I really, really love you. you’re the best thing in my life.”

Markus froze. He could feel his cheeks flush and his head spin a little, you did reciprocate his feelings! “Ehehe… you’re blue, Markus.” With that, you dozed off.

He stayed there for a second, just looked at you peacefully snoring with a smile. He will sort everything out with you in the morning. He was about to get up when your hand tugged his sleeve and you let out a small whine, asking him to stay.

He did.

+

“do you think it worked?”

Josh, Simon, and North were all leaving as well now. “it probably did. They tend to become awfully emotional and honest when they are drunk.”

“Still… I feel a bit bad about this.” Muttered Josh, “they don’t usually like it when we interfere with their life.”

North shrugged, “Hey, I’m good as long as we don’t have to deal with them acting like idiots anymore. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”

And they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha ooc content amiright


	6. Hold me close - RK900

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since dbh requests are open - is it okay to request a hurt/comfort Nines x Reader? Maybe the reader accidentally shot a suspect (who ended up being innocent) and they’re feel upset about it it trying not to show it. But nines picks up on the dangerously low levels (low mood etc) and checks in on reader. Maybe because he secretly likes reader for a while now and it’s actually upsetting him seeing them so upset. If it’s too much, it’s okay. You don’t have to write it ^^”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just some cute shit with some angst

_“I’m fine, Nines. Don’t worry about me.”_

It was astonishing how often humans forgot that Nines was an advanced model that could easily see through petty lies. He could read you like an open book. Your stress level, your body language and the way you tried to prove yourself harder only to fall back into your slump were all things that reflected your inner state of mind.

Nines considered you to be one of the more enjoyable human beings. You didn’t force him to deviate immediately, didn’t expect him to be like Connor and treated him as his own person. You respected him and were friendly to him for being himself. And he found that intoxicating. He fell for you.

He’d seen it in humans. He knew that you felt like you needed to earn everyone’s respect again, that you needed to prove to your superiors that you weren’t just some rookie who can’t even handle a gun without almost shooting someone.

You needed to prove it to yourself.

And it only made things worse. Nines saw how the spark you usually possessed when entering work disappeared, how you only became confined to your desk and didn’t speak to anyone unless necessary.

He picked up on this. Yet, he did not know how to aid you when you kept refusing his help, insisting you were fine.

-

Nines stopped in his tracks when he heard a distant sob coming from the rooftop. He was going to go up to check if detective Reed was out taking another cigarette but instead, he found you. He slowly opened the door.

Your back was to him. You were hiding your face in your hands as your body shook with each sob you let out. You turned, startled, when you realized someone else was up here with you. You immediately started wiping your eyes and cursing.

Nines simply stared, not knowing what to do or what to say. His LED turned yellow as he though to all the research he did however nothing seemed to help. It was like he didn’t even educate himself on the matter of properly comforting others.

“I… I am sorry for disturbing you.”

You scoffed and hurried to leave but he found himself stopping you and doing something that felt instinctive. He pulled you into an (awkward) embrace, “Wha… What are you doing?” you questioned.

“I don’t know.”

You stayed quiet for a while but then you began shaking again. You returned his embrace and buried your face into him, successfully muffling your weeps. _“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”_ You repeated it like a mantra, crying louder each time you said it.

“You don’t need to apologize.”

And you stopped, but you kept crying. Nines barely said anything, choosing instead to let you cry your heart out. He didn’t like it when you cried, it hurt him. But he supposed this must be better than bottling everything up.

Your crying lowered and dimmed until it stopped. You sniffled as you rubbed your eyes, “Fuck,” you said in a hoarse whisper, “I’m sorry about that.”

“I told you not to apologize, ____” you paused when he called you by your first name, “I understand that you don’t feel very comfortable sharing your troubles with others. But I will always be here for you if you wish to talk. I appreciate you and I only wish to help you.”

He noticed that you were tearing up again and you moved towards him this time, giving him a tight hug as you let out a shaky breath. “You really mean that?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I- fuck, I don’t think I want to talk about it right now.”

Nines pulled away and wiped away your tears, “That’s okay. What would you like to do?”

He could feel your body temperature slightly rise, “Can we, can we just stay like this?”

He smiled. “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u imagine nines giving a bear hug ugh my HEART


	7. Rain Clouds - RK800

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: I just wanted to be sure to not make you uncomfortable! Can I request an oneshot with connor and his s.o <strike> self harming!</strike> /having depression? If you dont want to so it it's fine with me either!! 🥀 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Depression, a semi-minor panic attack??, just overall deal with mental health
> 
> Please don't read if it bothers you or makes you uncomfortable

Connor wasn’t ever designed for this. He wasn’t created to show any empathy or sympathy, he wasn’t made to bring anyone comfort.

Yet here he was, in a dim room with a very, very distraught human. You, to be exact. You were sobbing, your hands covered your face as tears continued to wet your face. He didn’t expect this to happen when he chose to visit you after you didn’t show up at work for a few days.

He had known you for about half a year now. You were one of the few people at the precinct to welcome when he first joined as a machine. You only grew closer and closer after that, with you and Hank helping him realize he is deviant and guide through the mess that was humanity and emotions. He… liked being around you.

He was admittedly worried, you acted different prior to today. Your usual cheery self had gradually morphed into a quiet, distant one. You didn’t laugh at Gavin’s attempts to make you chuckle, you didn’t smile while greeting him, you didn’t even pet Sumo when Hank brought him to the precinct. You’d fall behind on work, barely eat and quick diagnoses showed that your stress level was constantly high.

Something was wrong, and he needed to make sure you were alright. He’d seen patterns similar to yours in Hank before and he didn’t want to even think about things escalating that far.

“I’m fine, you shouldn’t worry about me.”

Your words lacked sincerity as your neglected appearance contrasted them. The dark circles around your eyes got heavier, your hair looked as if it was left uncared for, you were severally dehydrated and probably hadn’t eaten a sufficient meal in a while. You didn’t like it when he questioned you on it.

“I said I’m fine, just been too lazy to cook anything.”

In retrospect, he should’ve given you the space you needed. He should’ve known persisting on the matter would only cause your stress to get worse. But he didn’t, he just wanted to help. He cared for you too much, he couldn’t handle it if something had happened to you.

“Stop analyzing me!”

Your burst was justified, but he truly did not know how to react to it.

“God, do you think that’s all that life is? You will just go around scan whatever you like and give back some diagnostic that nobody asked for? Are you just a fucking machine, Connor?”

You immediately froze after saying that, your breathing was heavy, and tears started to trickle down your face. Connor didn’t know what to say. Just a machine. He was acting like a machine. Your words stung but he pushed that aside.

“Fuck… I’m so sorry I didn’t – I didn’t –”

A sob interrupted your apology and you moved your hands to cover your face again. Your body slowly descended, and you sat on the floor. Connor could feel his own stress level increase as he stood upon your shaky form, not knowing what he is supposed to do. The storm overrunning his mind was kept at bay, though. Showing you that he too was afraid would not make things better.

Your breathing started quickening and getting heavier when you finally faced him. A quick scan showed that your heart was racing abnormally. Contemplations filled his mind, should he call an ambulance?

He moved closer to you but stopped when you immediately moved back, “Don’t, don’t come close.” You stammered in a trembling voice.

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry. Uh - what do you need? What can I do?”

You shook your head,” I dunno, fuck-” your choked voice only got croaker as you tried to speak, “It’s okay… just, just focus on your breathing.” Connor was only doing what he felt might help you and getting your breathing to stabilize became his current objective.

“…trying,” you closed your eyes and Connor continued to stare at you as you struggled. “water, need water.”

He nodded and got up. With hurried footsteps, he went into your kitchen and brought you a glass of water. He came back to you and stood still for a second. Should he get closer? Should he help you drink it?

“Con. Help.” That was his cue. He kneeled next to you and held the glass to your lips. You drank it steadily, as much as you could. The glass was lowered, and he was ready to back off, to give you your space. But you reached out to him and held his hand. He could feel the pressure of it as you squeezed it tightly.

The pattern of your breathing started to follow a consistent pattern after that and as time went on your trembles began to decline but you still shuddered.

* * *

Carrying you to bed was an easy task. He’d done so as per your dizzy self’s request and helped you lay down and made sure you were adequately hydrated. 

He glanced over you and saw how drained you looked. The idea of you, the one he cared about so much, being so broken hurt him. He wanted to ask, to know how long you’d suffered in silence without him noticing a thing. He wanted to know how to help.

Now wasn’t the time, though.

“You shouldn’t waste your time here.” Your croaky voice snapped him out of his train of thoughts. “You can go Connor; I will be fine.”

“Can I stay? I want to be with you.” he pleaded.

Your vision once fixated on the wall now focused on him, hollowness seeped through your eyes, a sharp contrast to how they looked the first time he met you.

“Connor…”

“Please. Please, don’t push me away.”

You blinked and bit your dry lip. After thinking for a few minutes, you said, “Okay. Okay, you can stay.”

* * *

The following day he’d made you breakfast, or at least tried. The food looked nice since he’d followed an online tutorial, but he wasn’t sure about the taste.

You didn’t look happy nor sad about him cooking for you but barely ate half of what he made.

“Fucking hell.” You said under your breath, he didn’t know if it was because of what he made or because of how physically and mentally tired you look.

Last night wasn’t mentioned. He didn’t say anything, and you didn’t bring it up, so he thought you didn’t want to talk about it.

“Thanks.” You said suddenly after you finished eating, “For, for looking out for me, I mean.”

He nodded, “You don’t have to thank me. I only wanted to make sure you were okay, I’m sorry for pressuring you.”

He had done his research as you begrudgingly slept, understood that what happened to you was known as a panic attack. He’d delved deeper into it to understand what caused the shift in your personality, but he still was not a licensed therapist or the kind of android made for that purpose and thus he didn’t want to make assumptions.

You scoffed, “No, it was my fault. I… usually get snappy when this happens. I still shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m sorry. Just don’t scan me all the time, okay?” “Okay.”

He tilted his head after a while, “Is it okay if I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Has this happened before?”

You froze. “Does it matter?”

The way you spoke was rather deadpan, “Well, yes. But if you don’t wish to talk about it, it’s fine.”

“I’d like that. I don’t… I’m not ready to talk about it.”

Connor put his hand on yours and rubbed it, “It’s okay.”

* * *

Day by day he’d try to show you that he appreciated you. That he did not see you as a burden. That you mattered to him. It was hard, your self-doubt and lack of any sense of personal worth created a wall that he had to carefully try to breakdown. He did want to advise you to seek professional help, but you seemed defensive when he suggested it the first time.

You started showing up to work again after a while, you still did not show much passion for it and looked incredibly uncomfortable when someone would question you about it. So, he’d try his best to push people off your back, as awkward as it was. 

* * *

Rain was pouring outside. Connor could hear splashes and vehicles passing by every second. It was rather peaceful. Your head rested on his thigh as he hummed a tune he recalled hearing you sing a few months ago.

“Connor.”

“Hm?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

Your question made him pause, you sounded almost… empty. Devoid of any actual emotion like someone who was internally defeated.

“I kept denying it for so long. Kept telling myself that today was just a bad day, tomorrow will be better,” you let out an unsteady breath, “But it never did. Everything became so… joyless? I couldn’t enjoy things, couldn’t enjoy work, couldn’t enjoy any shows, couldn’t enjoy speaking to anyone.”

Connor slowly realized that you were opening up to him, so he listened thoroughly and stayed quiet.

“Things only got worse. I didn’t have it in me to do anything anymore. I didn’t keep up with work, didn’t clean my apartment, didn’t cook, didn’t eat, didn’t do anything. I felt gross.”

You sniffled and lifted your head, “I didn’t want to bother anyone with it. Thought It would go away, that nobody deserved to be forced to help someone like me. didn’t want them to see me any differently.”

“I am just so fuckin’ tired, ya know? It’s like I am running in a circle. I’m tired of being so worthless. I’m tired, Con. I just want it to stop.”

You looked down at your lap while Connor started to comprehend what you were saying. His LED spun and circled until it settled on yellow. “This does not make me view you any differently. You are still the person who helped me when I deviated,”

He held your hand and you latched on to him, letting out soft whimpers as he rubbed your back. “I might not completely understand what you are going through, but I still care about you and I want to help.”

“But I am not the crucial help you need.” You stopped crying into his chest and looked up at him in confusion. “I know you think it might be useless but please consider attending therapy. I will tag along if it will make it more comfortable for you.”

You stayed quiet, this time actually considering what he offered. “what if they didn’t care?”

“Then we will look for the right person. Together.”

You bit your lower lip and hesitantly nodded, “You will be with me, Con?” your fingers intertwined, and he pressed his forehead against yours.

“Yes, every step of the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write Connor a bit realistically?? 
> 
> I love all the fanfics where he immediately knows what to do but like... he will probably just be a confused baby trying his best


End file.
